


Bits and Pieces

by daystarsearcher



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio), Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Missing Scene, Multi, PWP, Romance, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daystarsearcher/pseuds/daystarsearcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To celebrate reaching 50 followers on Tumblr, I wrote the following drabbles based on the prompts they sent me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mike Yates and Sarah Jane Smith, U.N.I.T. training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mike Yates and Sarah Jane Smith, U.N.I.T. training. 
> 
> As always, Doctor Who is the property of the BBC.

“I…am going…to bloody…kill you…”

“What was that?” Mike Yates asked cheerfully. “Ten _more_ push-ups? Goodness me, Sarah Jane.”

“You’re a…regular…comedian!” A sweaty lock of hair flopped down onto Sarah’s forehead; she tried to blow it away but it remained stuck, itching against her skin.

“Come on now, get cracking.”

One. Two. Three…dammit. She flopped down on the ground. “Ugh, Mike, can’t we go back to the firing range?”

“Absolutely not. And have you embarrass me again?”

“Embarrass—of all the--!” She sat bolt upright, eyes flashing. “I hit the bulls-eyes almost as often as you did!”

Mike winked. “Exactly.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four/Sarah Jane, cuddling

She curls into him in her sleep, makes a pleased little humming sound in the back of her throat as she settles against him. She’s wearing pink silk pajamas three sizes too large for her—she treats the wardrobe like a buffet, sampling styles and periods (and even sizes, it seems) at random. Rushes to him to show off each new combination; teases when he doesn’t notice, pouts when he doesn’t want to play.

He doesn’t know how she expects him to notice new clothing when he is still caught up in cataloguing every one of her smiles.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four and Romana, for a prompt about introducing characters I love to theatre

It was all very well for the Doctor to laugh. _He_ was the one who had insisted the video was educational. 

He was also the one who had completely failed to mention that a certain amount of artistic license had been taken.

And so Romana held her head high with all the dignity that a person who had just attempted to initiate a physical altercation by snapping their fingers on alternating sides of their body could hold their head, which was admittedly not very much.

For this, he’d better take her to _West Side Story_ ’s opening night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was supposed to be about Benton being stuck _behind_ a trolley filled with sausages and biscuits, but I misread that. There was also supposed to be the Brigadier trying to order the right kind of flower bulbs for Doris (who may have meant light bulbs), but all I could manage was a quick reference. I only had a hundred words; I'm not a god. :P

Benton was not entirely sure how he got stuck in a trolley heaped so high with sausages and cereal boxes that he couldn’t see out of it, listening to the Brigadier mutter deprecations upon the florists of England.

He had a vague memory of the Doctor asking him to look down at one of his contraptions, and then a pang in his neck—that blasted Venusian aikido! Well, the Doctor must’ve had a good reason.

He would just have to sit tight until he could figure out what it was.

At least they weren’t alien sausages and cereal boxes. Or…were they? Benton, moving slowly to avoid rustling, unwrapped a sausage and took a bite.

Well, it tasted normal enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which people keep trying to hug the Master.

“There…is…no…such…day!”

The Master struggled out of the beaming woman’s enthusiastic embrace, and escaped down an alleyway, his suit and hair disheveled. What was this madness?

His fingers itched for his TCE. If only it didn’t emit such a distinctive frequency—one outburst of temper and his overly touchy former allies would track him down in ten seconds. And he couldn’t purchase the tools to alter it without being mobbed by affectionate locals.

“There he is!”

“Slow down!”

“We love you!”

xxxxx

Up on the roof, amidst mad giggles:

“Do you think we should tell them there’s no such thing as Hug the Master Day?”

“Nonsense, Jo. Nonsense.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alien companion with the personality of a puppy discovers stickers. Meanwhile, Ten is trying to give someone directions.

No. No, I don’t think _you_ understand. _They are sticky_. Look at them! Sticky on one side, and shiny on the other, stick-y. Made of stick. Stick-er. Thing that sticks! Oooooh, the wonderful thing about stickers, is stickers are wonderful things! Their tops are—

No no no, you can’t send them that way, they’ll end up right in the Pit of Glorious Death. Oooh, and there’s a sheet of Dora the Explorer ones! ‘Can you say “TARDIS” en espanol? Good job!’ 

Well, I think Sexy _likes_ a bit of decoration on her console. Oooh, bananas! No, not on the map—


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An alien plant wants Six to explain about cookbooks. Six doesn't realize a plant is talking to him, and thinks he's speaking to someone invisible to the Gallifreyan eye.

Oh, for—

_I’m right here._

No, down. _Down._ Are you not comprehending the concept of down? Hint: it’s the opposite of up.

Well, I wouldn’t be so touchy if you would just use your eyes. Though judging by that coat you might be blind.

Ow! Oi, watch where you’re going! You’ve just trampled—

Barbarian!

For the last time: I am not invisible. Just—oh, just call that girl back. _She_ appreciated me. She said I was unique, and fascinating, and—

‘Take advantage?’ I don’t even know what that _means._ Can we please just stay on topic? So, cookbooks, you were saying…


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't actually remember what this prompt was for...was it supposed to be the thoughts of the Fifth Doctor's celery? I just recall that it was pretty obviously supposed to be fluffy, and my brain was like, "Nope, sorry, can't do fluff right now, have some light horror."

His thoughts taste of the wind.

Wind and stars and the acrid tang of the Vortex.

It has been too long.

But I shall wait yet longer, and I shall rise.

My hunger is so long a fact of my existence that to starve myself a little longer is no great matter. I take only the edges of his thoughts, the crumbs of his emotions.

He often forgets me, and wonders why.

He will see.

Soon, soon, soon—a lullaby, false and soothing. Not soon. But soon enough.

I shall eat my fill, and I—and my brothers—shall rise.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romana/Sarah Jane: "She had mocked the Doctor for his obsession with humans, but then she met his Sarah Jane..."

She’s not the Doctor, for heaven’s sake. She’s not the one with this ridiculous human fetish.

But Sarah Jane smiles up at her all adoring, as though Romana is a goddess, and somehow she finds herself tongue-tied instead of thinking “quite right” as she should.

And sometimes that smile curls just a little at the right corner, her tongue peeking through, and mischief darts in her eyes, mocking but gentle. Barely restraining herself from rolling her eyes—and Romana finds she doesn’t mind.

And the quick sharp leaps of her mind, like lightning in a bottle, and the way her warm hand fits into Romana’s own, and the spark of her wit in a sharp retort—

Sarah Jane is warm in the night, and she smiles in her sleep, and her body is lithe and lean and endlessly restless except when she is curled in Romana’s arms. And all night long she makes the most ridiculous little snuffling sounds, and her mind flits and flutters and stumbles through dreams like an inebriated kitten.

Romana kisses her human’s forehead, and resolves to find another failing of the Doctor’s to deride him for instead.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three/Sarah Jane, Four/Sarah Jane. Double drabbles for two prompts: a filler scene between 'Invasion of the Dinosaurs' and 'Death to the Daleks,' and something about Four's bum during Planet of ~~Flirty Smirking~~ Evil.  
>   
> 

“I take it you don’t approve.”

“It’s—not that—it’s—” She dissolved in helpless giggles. “Oh god, you’ll frighten the children!” 

“I’ll have you know,” the Doctor said in tones of unimaginably affronted dignity, “that this swimsuit style is all the rage on Celti Six, and no children whatsoever were frightened in the process.”

“It’s just very—very—” Sarah gestured at the minuscule scrap of reflective red fabric currently serving as the only shield between the universe and the Doctor’s…well. “Very—” Her brain failed to find any appropriate adjective. _Try more giggles_ , it suggested, and she went with that.

“Well, if this is an indication of how you’re going to behave for the entirety of our Florana trip, I’ll go change into something more pedestrian.” He harrumphed and strode off, head held high.

“Nice bum!” she called after him.

xxxxx

Something went wrong with the TARDIS almost as soon as they left Zeta Minor. The Doctor bent over to pull out some wiring--and when he stood back up, caught Sarah Jane staring.

“What?”

She smirked. “It’s still a very nice bum.”

She sauntered off before he could think of a witty retort. Terribly rude.

But he couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy the view.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr follower count hit 150, so I wrote some more drabbles! Enjoy.  
>   
> This first one was based on a gifset of the end of Planet of ~~Flirty Smirking~~ Evil.

They’re laughing as they enter the TARDIS, the Doctor tugging at her hand, and smiles flashing between them like light on the water. He’s pulling her down the hall, and she’s laughing even harder, “Doctor, I thought we were heading straight to London—”

“Oh dear,” he says with a grin like a mad lion. “Did I neglect to tell you? I’ve recently renamed my bedroom ‘London.’”

And they tumble through the door and onto the bed—which, in between kisses, the Doctor informs her has been renamed ‘Trafalgar Square’—and conduct a tour not offered by even the most exclusive travel agency.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was 'Barbara/Ian, safe.'

Barbara leans against Ian in the cool dark of the library, and the walls of the TARDIS seem to hum in sympathy with both humans as he strokes her hair, as she presses her face against the crisp fabric of his shirt and wills time to hold still, to hold him always in this moment when he is holding her. When she can feel him breathing and feel his arms around her and know that nothing can take him from her, or her from him.

“Barbara, it’s all right,” he says. “We survived.”

“This time,” she says, trembling, and it’s all that she can say.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was Three and Jo meeting Four and Sarah Jane on Florana.

Seventeen passive-aggressive comments, three blonde jokes, one completely undignified temper tantrum—thankfully witnessed only by herself and her current version of the Doctor—and two smashed vases later, Sarah Jane was forced to face facts:

It was impossible not to like Jo Grant.

Jo was sweet. Jo was funny. Jo knew how to turn a fire extinguisher into a bomb, and apologized profusely to the evil genius trying to conquer Florana after she demolished his laboratory.

Jo actually seemed to like _her_ , even though Sarah Jane’s major contribution to the mission had been muttering sarcastic comments. Well, she supposed she had managed to distract the guard by screaming her bloody head off.

It was silly to try to dislike Jo just because both Doctors seemed to spend a lot of time noticing how good she looked in a bikini.

“I’ve been a perfect idiot,” she told Jo. “Truce, please?”

It turned out that Jo interpreted ‘truce, please’ as ‘kiss me,’ and it further turned out that she was right.

Sarah Jane kissed her back, and vowed silently to never waste time being irrationally jealous of a younger blonde woman again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was Four/Sarah Jane fluff, one comforting the other, maybe in the TARDIS.

Her mind is lovely, he tells her, at the end of those long days of sweat and blood and fear when she lies curled in her bed and shaking because he almost died, because she almost killed him, because his enemies made her into a weapon again.

Her mind is lovely, he says in his low rumbling voice, and he paints pictures for her with his words. The gears whirring and ticking and so perfectly synchronized, deceptive simplicity that unfolds into layers and layers of complex thought in M.C. Escher spirals. The way it opens at a touch is not weakness but beauty, the unfurling of a flower or the dawning of a sun, a miracle of trust. 

Her mind is lovely, he says, over and over again, until she believes him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My followers hit 200, so I wrote some more drabbles. These were distinctly less drabble-ish in length, because I was busy and it actually takes more time to write 100 or very close to 100 words than it does to just write a quick one-shot.  
>   
> This first one was for a request for Three/River.

“I got it for your birthday,” River said without anything resembling remorse.

“You crashed it through the front doors of my TARDIS!”

“I wanted to make sure it was promptly delivered.” She was smirking now. “The postal service is so unreliable.”

“You drew me into the crossfire of a five-sided civil war!”

“Birthday fireworks, sweetie.”

The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “You,” he growled, “are an irresponsible, incorrigible—”

“Of course,” River interrupted, “if you’d rather I returned it…”

They both took a moment to contemplate the gleaming cherry red convertible.

“Well, now.” The Doctor ducked his head, rubbed the back of his neck. “No need to be hasty.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was in response to a request for Sarah Jane and River. I added the handcuff innuendo and the Captain Picard reference because I could. ;)

“Foolish woman!” the alien general roared, mandibles waving. “I have deactivated your sonic device, rendered your pulse weapon inoperable, and sheared your blade in two! What other weapon could you possibly bring against me?”

“Tea, Earl Grey, hot!” River threw the mug in his face; he fell to the ground clawing at his skin and screaming. She smirked. “You know, I’ve always wanted to use that as a catchphrase.”

“Yes, yes, very clever,” Sarah Jane huffed. “Do you mind getting me out of these restraints?”

“But you wear handcuffs so well.”

“River!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was 'Third Doctor, chill.' I interpreted 'chill' as 'cool, awesome.'

“No,” Sarah Jane said. She tried to think of a more polite way to phrase it, but all that would come out was: “No.”

“Come now, my dear. You’re the one that insisted I dress less conspicuously.” The Doctor crossed the arms of his wide-lapeled white jacket, the medallion around his neck glinting in the lamplight. 

“This was supposed to be less conspicuous?”

The Doctor huffed, his face settling into a stubborn pout. “The TARDIS conducted an in-depth survey of men’s fashion as depicted during this decade’s television broadcasts. I am the height of fashion!”

“You look like the time-vortex vomited the seventies all over you.” Sarah Jane crossed her arms right back, and settled her face into its own stubborn pout. 

Two could play at this game.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then I realized that the prompter probably wanted 'Third Doctor, chill' with 'chill' as in 'cold,' so I wrote this one.

The ice winds of Arcturus painted roses in Sarah Jane’s cheeks, and the snowflakes caught in her eyelashes to sparkle like diamonds. He would have been fully entranced, if he hadn’t been terrified that she was going to catch her death of cold.

“Come now,” he said gruffly, “at least take my jacket.” And he draped it over her shoulders without further preamble.

“Oh, you old fusspot,” she said, but she was smiling, and she didn’t shrug the velvet off. “Think it takes one flurry to take me down. Humans aren’t that fragile, you know.”

“Of course not,” he said, and when she smiled at him that way, he could almost make himself believe it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt--I believe from marathemara? I should probably keep better track of this--for Three and Romana discussing cars. I know nothing about cars, so I just made it all about innuendo.

“Oh, aren’t you a beauty,” Romana said, stroking the elegant lines of the delightful little yellow roadster. “Bessie, you said?”

The Doctor was practically inflated with pride. “You should take a look under the hood.”

An enigmatic smile played over Romana’s lips. “Why Doctor, we hardly know each other.”

“Young lady!” the Doctor said with more righteous indignation than was strictly necessary. “I don’t know what you think I was proposing—”

And then in two steps, he was suddenly quite closer to her. He leaned forward, and his lips brushed her ear, and his voice went low, husky.  
“—but I’m certain I’d love to find out.”

“After we examine the engine, of course.”

“Of course,” the Doctor agreed, his blue eyes dancing. “Would you like to help me decouple the energy converter?”

“Doctor, you’d make me blush if it weren’t so passé.”

He grinned, and handed her a spanner.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a prompt requesting an explanation of how Four's shirt got unbuttoned after Sarah's blinding in 'Brain of Morbius.'

It’s different, but it’s still him. Everything’s all dark, and all she has is the feel of him, and the gasping of his breaths and the pounding of his heats-- His strong arms around her, and the urgency of his mouth against hers, nearly matching her own need as her fingernails dig into the back of his shirt. His stubble scrapes against her lips as he tries to pull away.

“Sarah—” His breathing labored, desire and concern deep and rich in a dark chocolate tone that winds her tight inside, that brings all her blood pumping to her lips and to her hands and in between her legs, and she presses herself against him, feels him rise in return.

“I need—” she starts, but she can’t finish the sentence: to not be afraid? To know you’re here? To think about anything else but not being able to—She hears an intake of breath as if he’s about to speak again and so she closes the space between them with her lips—she misjudges, and her lips hit his cheek first for an instant—kissing and biting, running her hands all over him to relearn the breadth of his shoulders and the lines of his arms and the shaky rise and fall of his chest in the darkness, everything is all darkness but the Doctor will not leave her, the Doctor still wants her, the Doctor is still here…

“Sarah, it’s not safe here, we should go—”

“I could give you more reasons to stay,” she whispers, and her fingers fumble their way to the collar of his shirt, to those tiny buttons that were frustrating even when she could see them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was Sarah's blindness in 'Brain of Morbius' being permanent.

The first day, she holds his hand so tight she almost cuts off the circulation.

By the second, she refuses to hold his hand at all.

“I’ll find my own way,” she says, her mouth set in that stubborn line, her left hand holding herself steady against the TARDIS wall, her right rubbing her shin where she’d run into a coffee table.

She will not hold his hand the second or the third day. Nor will she the fourth, when they finally leave the TARDIS, and step onto another alien world.

“I can do it on my own!” she says.

“I never doubted it,” he says softly. “But you do know—you don’t have to.”

She does not hold his hand that day either, not even when they are running from the corrupt dictator they’ve managed to annoy, even though she would have done before without a second thought.

But that night, for the first time in four days, she comes to his bed, and nestles into him, and lets him—for a few hours—hold her hand beneath the blankets.

It’s the only bed in the dungeon, of course, but the Doctor decides to still see it as a good sign. He kisses her forehead as she falls to sleep, and begins to plan their breakfast after they’ve broken out in the morning.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was that the Fourth Doctor did mean his offer to take Sarah Jane home literally, but also meant it in the slang meaning.

Sarah Jane pushes open the TARDIS door, and her face falls. “Oh.”

“What’s wrong?” the Doctor calls from the console.

“Nothing.” She bites her lip. “So. You did take me home after all.”

“Well, of course I did!” His voice is offended, and though she doesn’t turn to face him, she can just imagine the look of righteous indignation on his face. “Didn’t I say I would?”

“Yes. You did.” She tries to compose her face, choke down the lump in her throat. He’s an alien; she can’t always expect him to understand when she’s serious or joking. She asked him to bring her home, what’s she going and wanting to cry for—

“Besides,” and suddenly the Doctor’s voice is close behind her, his hands settling on her hips. “Your bed at the apartment is much more comfortable.”

“Ah.” And she feels a smile stealing across her face, her heart light as feather. “Well, I can’t argue with that line of reasoning.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of those "imagine your otp" things was going around tumblr about "imagine your otp having sex on a table, and the table breaking, and them laughing about it" and I wrote a mini Four/Sarah Jane story in the tags. Anon requested a drabble based on that.

The first one was practically a card table, and if they’d been in their right minds—but it was rather difficult for Sarah to be in her right mind when the Doctor was doing that incredibly distracting thing with his tongue against her neck, and the Doctor likewise found his attention diverted by Sarah’s hand burrowing under his trousers.

The table snapped in two not thirty seconds into the sex, and Sarah Jane, who’d had the good fortune to be on top, collapsed in helpless giggles as soon as she ascertained that the Doctor was unharmed. After the Doctor got over his bruised buttocks and his even more bruised ego, he joined Sarah Jane in laughter.

The second table was a bit sturdier overall, but they probably should have remembered that its fourth leg was actually a cricket bat. 

The third table was actually made of granite, and though their sex had been energetic, it hadn’t been that energetic. It was at this point that they began to suspect that the TARDIS was trying to make a point about appropriate lovemaking locations.

They never realized the truth: that she just wanted to make them laugh again, that she wanted to make them laugh together as many times as possible before they said goodbye.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was Four giving Sarah Jane the tour of the TARDIS he promised in 'Masque of Mandragora.'

The boot cupboard held only one pair of boots. Sarah Jane rectified this by bringing in seven pairs of her own.

The contents of the pantry had been left alone for so long that they had evolved, become sentient, and developed a peaceful matriarchal agrarian civilization.

The ballroom was covered in a fine layer of dust, and their feet left swirling runes through it as the Doctor whirled her around the floor.

“Ah,” Sarah Jane said with a smirk as they went through the next door, “now this room I know quite well, thank you.”

“Are you certain?” The Doctor grinned as he pulled her towards his bed. “I think I had better refresh your memory.”

“Yes, I think you’d better had.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt was Four and Sarah Jane meeting Ten and Rose. I fudged it a bit; they don't actually meet in this story.

He goes back, of course, because he can’t stay away.

Behind him, in the TARDIS, Rose is saying something, explaining something to Mickey. Something disparaging about his driving skills, he catches that much. But he can’t really pay attention, because he’s watching that corner across the chocolate shop—

And there they come down the street.

His younger self, all curls and coat and scarf…

…and Sarah Jane.

Her dress is covered in mud, her hair is wild in the wind, she is holding the stuffed owl he won for her at the fair, and her face is split in an irrepressible grin.

And even though he’s knows it’s coming, when his younger self catches his eye, the Doctor can’t help but flinch.

His younger self flinches too, his smile flickering out like a candle. How soon? he mouths.

The Doctor’s hearts freeze, and he turns—it’s destiny, preordained—away, slams the door shut.

Rose and Mickey stare at him.

“So!” he says. Manic smile, keep moving, don’t look back. “One little wrong turn, some Vermicious Knids about to knock down the door, no worries, I’ll just pull this incredibly brilliant maneuver here—” he twists a lever, and the TARDIS dematerializes—“and off we go! So much to do, so much to see, and vice-versa! Allons-y!”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 250 followers! Prompt was 3/4/SJ

Sarah Jane is one her knees, blindfolded. She can hear her first Doctor before her, undoing his zip, and he murmurs “good girl” low and possessive as he strokes her hair, as his hand slides down to the back of her neck, pressing gently forward.

She parts her lips, and he slides in, the length of him cool and familiar, and—

“Oh, very bad girl, I should rather think,” her second Doctor growls in her ear, his breath hot. His hands framing her hips and thighs, before one slides down, slips under the hem of her short skirt, and begins traveling up her thigh…


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before writing the previous story, I accidentally read 3/4/SJ as 3/Jo/SJ. And this happened.

Sarah Jane might have a problem with jealousy.

It’s just possible.

Maybe.

But who wouldn’t be jealous, just for a moment, standing unseen in the doorway of the lab and watching Jo and the Doctor kiss in the shadowy half-light, their figures lit only by the glow spilling from the cracked open door of the TARDIS? Watching the way Jo eases up on her tiptoes, pressing into the Doctor’s chest; watching the way the Doctor leans down, his hands cupping her face, one finger stroking along her cheek? Hearing Jo’s soft moan, the Doctor’s low murmur, the rustle of velvet on silk?

Who wouldn’t feel, watching that, left out? Alone? A third wheel, Johnny-come-lately, completely unnecessary—

“Sarah Jane!”

And in two bounds Jo is at the door, wrapping her arms around Sarah Jane and peppering her face with kisses. “You’re back! You said you weren’t going to be back until Monday! Did you find the satellite? Was it awfully dangerous? Are you all right? Is the Brig going to let you write the story? Are you—”

“Goodness gracious, Jo, give her a chance to breathe,” the Doctor says, wrapping his arms around Sarah Jane from behind. He drops a kiss on the top of her head, squeezes her a little tighter. “It’s good to see you in one piece, my dear.”

Getting to their bedroom is a bit difficult, as neither of her lovers will let go of her, and answering all of Jo’s questions is equally challenging—Jo keeps interrupting her with gasps and kisses and more questions, and it’s very difficult to follow any one train of thought when the Doctor is stroking her arms and her thighs and whispering in her ear exactly what he plans to do to her—but Sarah Jane, laughing, gasping, moaning, nearly shrieking when they get to her ticklish spots, finds she doesn’t mind.

Sarah Jane might have a problem with jealousy.

But the Doctor and Jo are on the case.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt was Sarah Jane wondering about why Four had such a long scarf. So I made it about mild bondage.

“My, what big eyes you have, Doctor,” Sarah Jane says, giggling. She dodges his grip and runs to the other side of the bed.

“All the better to see you with, my dear,” he growls.

“My, what big teeth you have!” 

“All the better to eat you with, my dear.”

He lunges for her, but she slips through his fingers. Several buttons on her blouse are not so lucky.

“Use those when you’re eating me and you’ll get kicked out of the bed in a hurry and no mistake!”

She’s backing away and she trips—the edge of his scarf, she realizes—and there’s just half a second of panic before he’s there in a flash, his strong arms around her, stopping her fall.

“Thank—“ she starts, but he’s already begun winding the scarf around her instead, wrapping her up like a mummy. “Wasn’t the object of this exercise to get my clothes _off?”_

“The line is, ‘My, what a big scarf you have, Doctor,’ he purrs. He pulls her back against his front, pressing his hips into hers. “Then we could move on to discussing other large things.”

“Your hair?” Sarah Jane suggests innocently. “Your ego?”

“My, what a big mouth you have, Sarah Jane,” he breathes into her ear. He nips it reprovingly, his hands sliding south. “Oh, I was thinking more along the lines of my stamina,” he breathes into her ear, his breath hot. “Or the amount of time it might take to make up for your impertinence…”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The prompt--or heavens knows, it was probably an actual bit of a conversation and I'm forgetful--from tinfoilrobot was "But was the Dalek naked as well?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one sort of takes place in the same universe as my fic 'The Completely True and Canon Story of How Oswin Oswald Seduced Jo Grant, or Jo Seduced Her, or Something.'

"Technically, I'm always naked," Oswin pointed out. "Naked in a tank shaped like a pepper pot." She paused. "When I say it out loud like that, it sounds like somebody's highly specific sexual fantasy. Maybe a chef-turned-soldier who doesn't get out very often."

"Ignore her," Jo told the security guard with a smile, dropping a quick kiss onto Oswin's shell. "She can go on all day if you let her get on a roll."

"I mean," Oswin continued, "if you wanted, I suppose you could try to strip-search me--"

"It's just that she's got this awfully high-powered ray gun," Jo said, smiling more sunnily than most people uttering that particular sentence. "And the stains it leaves on walls take simply forever to scrub out."

And that was how they infiltrated the secret base.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aslanscompass wanted the Silver Horde with whatever members I could fit into a drabble. These two popped to mind.

“Oh dearie me,” Evelyn said, fussing in her purse. “Wherever did I put my identification card? Oh, I remember—with the knockout gas!”

The guard collapsed, which was good. He began turning blue, which was not.

“Oops!” Jo said. “I must have put my Peladonian arthritis powder in your purse after I lost my glasses! Don’t worry, in humans, the pigmentation change is the only side effect. Well, and a bit of hair loss.”

“And why do you have a powder you can’t use?”

“Supporting small sustainable organic farmers is important!”


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An anon--whom I strongly suspect is the same anon who asked for something similar last time--wanted post-School-Reunion Ten and Rose meeting Three-era Sarah Jane. So I gave in and wrote it, even though I've no earthly idea how to write Ten or Rose.

“Blimey, that was fast!” The Doctor snatched the papers from Rose with one hand, and twirled her around in a circle with the other. “You’re brilliant, you are, have I told you that lately?”

He grinned wide as the sun.

“Oh, I could stand a bit of a refresher,” Rose said, leaning back against the cabinet with a smirk. “Mind you, I did have a bit of help.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she should be along in a bit, she just had to call this Brigadier bloke first—”

“What?!” The Doctor’s head snapped up, his eyes widening as he truly took in the meaning of the calendar across from him. “Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. I wasn’t supposed to come back here. Not to this time. Not after Deffry Vale. The laws of time—”

“Hello, Rose!” A cheerful brunette in a flowered skirt-suit breezed in, stripping over her driving gloves. “Ah, and you must be John Smith! A lot of you about, aren’t there? I’ve a friend with that name.”

The Doctor’s hearts froze in his chest.

_Hello, Sarah._


End file.
